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This is something I tell women also, just so you know.
The truth is, though, it’s more effective for men–far more effective.
I know a lot of you, when I point out that you could have continued the conversation with that girl, or you could have said hi to this woman, or “…that sounds like the date was going pretty well, why didn’t you lean in and kiss her?”
A lot of you will give me some version of this excuse:
“She’s not really my type.”
I know that for many of you it’s true.
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I also know, as you do, that for many of you–maybe most of you… well, maybe all of you–it’s a big excuse.
So yeah, it’s an excuse, and it’s also possibly true. So move on then, right?
I mean in general I like to let you have your excuses–even though they are excuses. I want you to enjoy the process as much and as often as possible.
Of course I prefer if you don’t lie to me or yourself, but overall I want you to have a good time and enjoy every little step forward, so that you take another and another, and the little steps can lead to big change.
This excuse is one I’d like you to get past though, for the very same reason. See if you can understand as I explain it.
While often the excuse is based on truth–she’s not your ideal–that’s not really the reason you don’t want to move forward.
Let’s look at some of the possible real reasons, and then I’ll explain why you’d do best to ignore all of them.
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Yeah, this is probably the number one reason guys don’t go ahead with it.
It’s not a lot of fun to get rejected. In front of me it’s horrible–somehow my opinion of them seems to be super important, and they think I’ll look down on them if they lose this particular interaction with me watching.
I mean I obviously realize there’s pressure and it’s awkward and my presence has GOT to make it harder. Even with me winging, nothing’s guaranteed.
On the other hand, if there’s ANYONE who’s not judgemental about the fact that you win some you lose some it’s ME–since they specifically came to me go get better at this!
Nevertheless, I realize that when it does go badly–even if I’m nowhere near and I’d never know–it can feel like crap and it’s difficult for a guy to set himself up for that kind of abuse.
The massive demotivation of “It’s gonna hurt” is a big reason people don’t do anything–even swim, when they’re already at the beach and the first steps in have established that the water is gonna feel cold.
Usually, though, you can break through that little fear, and the sooner you do, the sooner you enjoy the swim. You’re always so happy you did it.
You’re Gonna Fail! (And Here’s Why This Is a Good Thing)
The truth is also, that so many guys already procrastinate at this point–avoiding the pain or embarrassment–that the motivation needed to push past that reluctance is probably not there when the girl is not your type.
While we surprise ourselves with what we do when our super ideal woman is in front of us–sometimes even trying to say no–without that strong desire we can have difficulty bringing out our best.
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So, while it hurts me to confirm your fears, the truth is that when the girl is not the most attractive to you, you’re not going to be at your best.
Usually, though, the reason we’re even discussing this opportunity is because despite not being at your best, you’re not alone: she’s going to do some of the work for you–maybe most of it.
What If You Succeed?
The next worry guys have – sometimes consciously and sometimes just under the surface–is what if things DO go well?
“I don’t want this to be my girlfriend, David.”
Maybe you don’t want to lead her on, or you’re worried about how you will get out of it once the ball is in motion.
Many of my clients are attractive men whose problem is not how do I get A girl, but how do I get the attractive girls I want, without getting stuck with the bossy or otherwise not particularly ideal girls that want ME?
Just Do It.
Well, I’m going to recommend you ignore all your reasonable excuses and let it flow anyway, and here’s why.
First of all, I think we’ve already discussed the metaphor of the boat.
You can’t turn a boat until it’s moving. If the boat’s just sitting there, the rudder’s not going to help, unless you flap it back and forth to get some momentum before you start trying to also change direction.
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In the same way, it’s easiest to start developing your skills if you are involved in interactions you can compare, contrast and experiment with.
Generally, male clients come to me when they are single, so getting into something is often better for coaching progress.
Saying No Is Part of The Skillset.
Next, I know that there’s a very real and valid concern that you may have a challenge getting out of anything you get started.
If you start sleeping with a woman you have only mild interest in, you fear she’s going to expect more and you think you’ll be a cad if you put on the brakes or pull the ripcord.
I could tell you that you may be surprised.
You may find that this woman who’s not your type ends up being so much your type because of her personality or the way she treats you or how she changes when she feels comfortable with you, or–to be blunt–her sexual technique or eagerness.
I could say that, but it doesn’t change the truth:
This concern is valid because you will have to make unpopular decisions with a new woman you are not super gung-ho about.
What two minute’s thought will help you realize though, is that even when you are with your absolute ideal woman, you will have unpopular decisions to make and you’ll want to say “no” sometimes.
If you are concerned about the no’s you will have to say to a woman you are not entirely sure about, I assure you that you have already suffered from an inability or unwillingness to say no to a woman you really liked. You’ve been browbeaten and bossed about.
You need to learn to stand your ground and stand up for yourself. “No” is part of that.
Trust me that it’s easier to begin practicing putting yourself first or prioritizing what you want when you are with a woman you don’t worship.
Nothing Succeeds Like Success When It Comes to Women…
The big reason I want you to lower your standards, though, is that everything else about women becomes easier when you are with a woman who likes you.
You often feel better when you are sexually satisfied and a woman is making the effort to keep you happy rather than the other way around.
When you’ve lost the odor of desperation, other women seem to know that you are desired and begin to feel interest.
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Often, being busy and distracted means that you don’t look at women you do like quite as hungrily or needily, which, wonder-of-wonders, makes you more attractive to them.
When you see being liked by a woman as normal, the ice will thaw and new women–hopefully the type you really love–will begin to appear.
Here’s how you’ll know you’ve found her:
Whether She’s “Your Type” Or Not… If She Does THIS It Means She’s DTF You:
It’s actually a lot simpler to rack up some easy wins without putting in much work… and without risking rejection…
All you gotta do is go after the women who are already into you.
Hear me out for a second…
If you’re anything like the younger version of me, then you might be thinking… “What girls?”
If that was your initial thought you need to cut that out immediately… because that sort of self-defeating mindset is only going to land you in the friend zone… and fast.
In reality there are LOTS of girls around you who are interested… and they’re constantly giving off signals that they’re into you… (or at least want to talk to you).
The only problem is that you were probably never taught how to look for these signals.
If you’re talking to a girl, did you know you can tell if she’s interested in you, and wants you to ask for her number, or on a date… just by looking at her feet?
Didn’t know that now did you? It’s cool, I didn’t know that until a few years ago… and most guys never learn about it.
And best of all, a lot of times these girls are a LOT hotter than the ones you were initially targeting… so you don’t have to lower your standards after all!
What I’m saying is if you learn these signals, not only will you be getting easy wins…
But you’ll also be landing more phone numbers… getting more dates… getting laid faster…
AND moving closer to settling down with a woman you would have once thought was “out of your league”:
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The post UNCENSORED: How To Bang Hot Girls Who Are “Out Of Your League” Using This Counterintuitive Seduction Trick appeared first on Gotham Club.
Original source: https://gothamclub.com/bang-hot-women/